i just google imaged poop.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
