so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
don't judge my taste in strippers
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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