Will you blow on my dice?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
