im gay
i know
yea but for you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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