soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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