I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize