let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
