No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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