i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
