Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
whose parrot is this?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
