he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
