Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
