I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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