I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
