I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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