I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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