tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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