He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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