Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
