Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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