So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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