we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
