Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
