The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bet he comes in French.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
