yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
