Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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