what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
