I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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