if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
