you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize