the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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