I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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