Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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