Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
