I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
