woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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