This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
