I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
