The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My ass is underappreciated
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
