I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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