I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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