i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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