can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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