K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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