Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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