I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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