I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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