I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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