My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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