Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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