Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize