he puts the penis in happiness.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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