You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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