..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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