The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
