i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
