last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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