Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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