Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
