He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
