i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
