who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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