Everything about him screamed your future.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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