Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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