she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
