Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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