took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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