I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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