Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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