Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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