I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
