I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize