You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
