A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
