If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize