Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
