Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
