I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
